Please, let me fuck your mom
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
