My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
