lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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