I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
