I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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