never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
