just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
