I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
