Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
