it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
