Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
