In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
