Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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