I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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