and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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