3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
