you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
