i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Semen is not good for contacts.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
