Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
