Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
