alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
i out mim tonsoeep
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
