David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
