i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
