erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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