i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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