Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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