i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
