I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
