His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
