Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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