if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
