your parents love me but you hate me
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
