she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
