coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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