He disabled his match.com account in front of me
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
