hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Are we still banned from the library?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
