No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
My pussy is not your playground.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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