I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
