He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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