Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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