Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
