I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
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