I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
