can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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