My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
