first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
that may or may not have been my penis.
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