Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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