this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
