Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She even gives head with a lisp.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
