I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
COCAINE IS GR8
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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