i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
