Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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