Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
