On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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