god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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