i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
