This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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