I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
