I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I can't turn off my feet"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
